i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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