Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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