my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
