if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
