He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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