no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize