OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
