I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize