So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
