i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize