When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
