I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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