I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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