like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
