so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
