the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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