just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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