Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
