no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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