don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
