am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
