Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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