i don't like sucking hair
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
