It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
