Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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