I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
