When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
