don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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