Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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