If i come over, it means nothing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
