Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
