As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize