I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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