two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the room spins SO much faster in panama
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
