We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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