I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize