I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
