I hope mine doesn't look like that
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
