I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
