Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
