cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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