I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize