and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize