wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
