She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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