Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
