i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
