i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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