Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
