I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
