i would punch a child for taco bell
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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