I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
