How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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