You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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