i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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