Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
