Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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