So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
