Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So vagazzling was a success
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize