I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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