i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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