is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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