I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
