just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
