i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
