Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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