He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
