Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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