I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
