I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
please don't ironically join a cult
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