So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
