I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize